3 - 1 = Freedom

AB's at her Grandmother's. R and I went shopping. It was fun. For me, anyway. He tried to be cheerful about it and truthfully we had a great time.

This morning was AB's school's Fall Fest. AB acted very, very naughty. She didn't want to take part in the organized activities and pitched several fits. She nearly earned herself a car time out or a Fall Fest fun abortion.

Eeew that's gross.

Then there was lunch. And the aforementioned shopping. Now there's goofing off on the computer, talking to a friend, and freelance work I'm avoiding studiously. Later there is dinner and a movie at home since there isn't crap in theaters, which is typical for our date nights.

Here's a dose of FSMHD:

We're eating lunch, R notices a kid scrambling on the outside of the play structure.
R: "I hope that kid doesn't fall and bust his head open on the floor."
Me: "Meh, natural selection at its finest."
R: "Hmmm. I think his Dad's actually standing there encouraging him."
Me: (laughs) "I wish there were a word for that, evolutionarily speaking. For a parent increasing its offspring's chance of death by selection"
R: "There is. 'Dead End.'"

I couldn't even laugh at first, because to me that was so fucking clever and apropos and he didn't miss a beat (I didn't even explain what concept I was referring to, I did that for your benefit) I was floored.

Well done, sir.

Go have a great day. At least try, yes?

FSMKD

Here's a dose of Funny Shit My Kid Did.

Location: Bumblefuck restaurant.
Accomplices: Extended family.
Aunt M asks AB: What is your kangaroo's name?
WITHOUT MISSING A BEAT my 3-year old says:

Joey Pouchy.

Joey Pouchy. Seriously. Fucking three years old. No hesitation. NONE! No one had ever heard that out of her, or anything like it.

Too. Funny.

Today was good. Busy. Busy is good. We had a great dinner at Subway where AB ate most of her sandwich because it was shot through with pickles. R and I both hate pickles. I went to kiss her and she was all pickle-y. Eww! It was ok, I didn't mind. I'll take a little pickle to get an AB kiss. She chased me down the aisles at Kroger. It was fun.

It's raining. Since Georgia is encountering a drought I consider that good. I'm debating a run tomorrow in the mud. I'm thinking I'll... pass.

Oh yeah. And yesterday I found out one SIL is definitely not running the marathon, b/c she is in grad school and planning a wedding... woman just does not have time to train. Other M isn't sure if she will or not, depends on how this weekend goes. They are being really sweet and encouraging me to still do it, but I wouldn't feel right spoiling every one's Thanksgiving and making them come see me when it's just me. Maybe I'll walk it with my friend from work and let that be that. We shall see. I'm not going to sweat it. I have already and will continue to reap benefits from the training.

Well, except for the weight gain. And the larger calves. Eeew! Then again I've become addicted to peanut M&Ms, and need a heavy running regimen to counter the damage I do munching those fuckers.

At least they have protein, right?

Twelve-O-Rama

OK, I'm slightly less grumpy today. The 12 went well. Might have been 11.5... but I'm calling it 12. I'm sore. Took a long time. How long? Oh hell no I'm not telling you.

The pumpkin patch/maze/farm thing wasn't that bad. I hated the maze... I mean how dumb do you have to be to pay someone to let you wander around in their rotting corn and get lost? I mean, we all know how to get out of a maze, or should (pick a wall [L/R]and follow it), but it was HOT, the sun was beating down on us, the terrain was rocky, I wore backless tennies like a dummy, and I had walked/run 12 miles that morning. Took us about 45 minutes to get in and out of it. At one point I was shaking from low blood sugar, but it passed into simple fatigue, luckily.

OK, fuck all that: here's the important part: AB had a BLAST! She played "leader" and picked which way to go, R played along happily, and they had a wonderful time. I was really glad he came along to help, as I would have been useless, truly. I would have picked a wall in and followed it the whole way. That is about as boring as you think it would be.

There is a parallel here with running a certain other maze... but I'm going to leave that low fruit hanging there on the floor.

AB enjoyed the pony ride and we checked out the (very busy) country store.

After that we went back to the in-laws' house and hung out, AB played, I napped (sweet mary hallelujah), then we went out for a yummy dinner.

It was a great day.

How was yours? Leave a me a comment.

Brace Yourself

At a press release held early this morning in the living room of the Author:

"Uh, yes, good morning, thank you for coming. I wanted to let all of you know that I ran with a brace this morning and it was amazing, no pain, I was flabbergasted. I will now take your questions."
"Miss FTIWTC, you say you experienced no pain? Did you run more?"
"That is correct. Yes."
"Uh, hi, Jason Fakename from Channel 4. Are you saying you experienced no knee pain this morning and you ran more? Did you run faster?"
"That is correct. Yes."
"How fast?"
"I shaved one minute off my best 4-mile time."
"Hello Author, this is Jenny Gooberstomper from Channel 11. You're saying you ran faster, longer, and had no pain? Why do you think you waited so long to buy a knee brace? Was it egotistical hubris?"
"Whoa lady! What kind of leading question is that? Screw you!"
"You're going on the record as saying, and I quote, 'Screw you?'"
"I guess I am. Next question?"
"Are you excited about the 12-mile scheduled for Saturday? How do you think you'll do?"
"Yes and no. Due to scheduling conflicts I don't have much time to finish it. I think it'll take three hours, but I'll likely feel guilty about being out that long and cut it short because if it weren't for guilt there would be nothing left of me. I am made of guilt."
"That was a really long answer. Could you give us a sound bite?"
"Screw you. Thank you."

Dinner

I was late getting home. Called R.

"Want me to pick something up on the way home?"
"Sure."
"What do you want?"
"I don't know. Ask AB. AB! Talk to your Mother."
"Hello?"
"Hey sweetie how was your day?"
"Fine."
"What do you want for dinner?"
"I want pizza."
(A grumbles loudly.)
(R in the background) "Tell her I didn't tell you to say that."
"Daddy didn't tell me to say that."
"All right. Tell Daddy he has to order it."

That was easy. Artery-clogging bad example food for dinner. Aaaawesome.

And it tasted goood.