Play Misty For Me

Hello darlings. Today's subject is Mist1 of To Do: 1. Get hobby 2. Floss. You have to get up really early to catch this loquacious ribald humorist, as she generally has a new post before I'm out the door to run. And they're funny! So she is thinking of funny things waaaaay before I even realize the day has begun. Or she is just that good...

I first heard of Mist on one of my buddy Lee's sites, where I was pulled in by a funny comment she wrote. I was hooked. This woman is good. Here are some examples of her most golden moments:

"I use humor to deflect attention from my affinity for raw meat, but deep down inside, I am considering devouring my dining companions with a side of gorgonzola if my entree doesn't show up soon."
"We decided to move in together immediately. I never move this fast. Usually, I am more of a stick my tongue down your throat in the parking lot kind of girl, but I knew from the beginning, that this was no ordinary relationship."
"We felt Rosa Parks smile down on us as we told people, "I'm sorry, those seats are reserved for The Coons."
"I love my mother, but I love my a$$ in my bikini even more." (Tease.)
"I have been admiring the absence of crap under my couch cushions for hours now. The fabric is cool against my cheek. It sort of makes me want to dabble by myself before I go to bed."

And there's something in there about a ten gallon garbage bag hanging off a battery. You will have to read that. Prepare to roll. Just. Not. Right. Why can't I have interesting friends like that?

And to top all this off, she lives not too far from me. I am attempting to charm her into a MIRL. Maybe I could hear her say "I know what let's do..." Think it could happen? Stay tuned.

Now go check her out.

Thursday - Dish on Other Blogger Day!

Hello everyone! Today I'm going to dish on my favorite Jew. No, silly, not Jesus! Katie!

Let's see. Where to begin. I first caught a glimpse of Katie's super-jewwy and faboo site from another blog I read, DrugMonkey. I thought, hey, if she's good enough for that funny pharmacist, she's good enough for me! So I happily traipsed over to her page to peruse her prose. I was not disappointed.

Katie is, well... crass. And rude. And hilarious. I think I mentioned her in one of my earlier blogs and she surprised me by leaving a comment on it. When I got it I felt like I had been felt up by Scott Adams. It was like if your favorite athlete came up to you and gave you a lingering pat on the ass. It was, seriously, just like that. I was so distracted I almost let my daughter fall off a slide. That's sad. I shouldn't have admitted that.

Here are some of my favorites:

Camel Toe-d (Great. Pic.)
More Toe (Great. Ad.)
Free Paris Hilton (Great. Googly. Moogly.)
Meaty Jew Lips?
Lock your doors, Katie. It keeps out the homeless.
Kiera Knightly's musky smell. Nice graphic.

Many times I've gone to Katie's site and roared with laughter. Then I've heard my husband in the other room reading her and roaring with laughter. I think she's been distracted of late. We all get that way, believe me. So I'm here to say:

Katie, we love you. Keep the gold coming our way. Thank you for all your do, you super-chewy center of hot molten jewwy magma you.

Hot mama. Hiss.

Go. Now.

Thursday - Lee's Salute

I think I'll start talking about other bloggers at least once a week. Why? Because it's fun. And soooo easy. Bloggers make great blog fodder because they put their entire lives in front of others for their amusement and judgment. Why would someone do that? I'll never understand.

Today's victim, er, subject is Lee. [Edit to remove my rambling wondering about Lee's gender.] I stumbled upon Lee's Letter of the Day a while ago, had a few laughs, and let that be it. I bookmarked another blog for later perusal. I went back yesterday (running through the list of crap I read) and nearly chortled soup through my nostrils at this image.

Oh my holy crap. What a find. If you're not laughing you're either a) waiting for a Ninja to jump out at you, or b) actually looking for a Ninja. No, silly.

But I do have to say I totally (didja hear that totally?) came up with the "Fighting With My Body" idea months ago. She and I have long-ass conversations that I sometimes quote here. So, Lee, your conversation was funny, but you don't get as much credit from me as you would had I not thought of it first. Because there really are new ideas under the sun, right? Yes.

Maybe next week I'll dish on my favorite Katie, Her Meaty and Jewwy Goodness (PBUH), a.k.a. my hero. Seriously. If she doesn't stop being so damn crass and funny and encouraging me with comments here I will be forced to e-stalk her and visit her in New York and make her take me around to see the super-jewwy sights and give her a good-night kiss at her super-jewwy doorstep. Never mind that I'm not Jewish. Or into women. Or willing to fly to NY for that matter.

My 28-minute run this morning was freekin' HARD!! I don't know if it's my cycle or what, but my heart rate was around 163 almost the entire time. I was struggling. Could have been dehydration. Muscles were fine, no soreness or burning, but systemic fatigue got me. I almost walked a spell...

But I knew if I did that I'd have to 'fess up here. And I wasn't going to do that. Nuh uh. So I finished it. Yer damn skippy.

Anyway, go check out our friend Lee and have a Ninja-cool day.