Good Advice
DO: Sleep with your windows open every chance you get. Like now, if you live in Georgia.
DO: Take a shower often in spite of the drought. Daily is good.
DO: Parade around your room/bathroom stark naked after taking said shower to fully dry out.
DO: Close the windows in your bedroom before doing the last.
BUT IF YOU DON'T:
DO: Shake your ass a little to give the neighbor behind you a show as she lets her dog out for its morning pee.
DO: Sing a porno ditty like "Bow chika-wow-wow" for effect. (Knudsen's* going to freak on me for saying nudity is porn... it's not! Calm down!)
DO: Bend over to pick up something off of the floor, real or imagined.
DO NOT: Do any of these things if said neighbor is toting a camera phone.
I'm just sayin'.
And I would like to apologize to my neighbor. No one should have to see that first thing in the morning. Or she's one lucky mama since it usually takes me a few drinks before I'll flash anything other than my toothy smile.
--
*What is it about that old man? I may be on the brink of penning 101 things about my boring ass just to make him happy. That's fucked up. Wait, how is it a chore to write 101 things about yourself when you're self-obsessed? It's not.
posted by Some Goofy Woman @ 10:57 AM
10 comments
10 Comments:
I'll try the flashing "bow chicawow-wow" thing tomorrow. If I'm not in jail, I'll let you know how it goes.
ROTFL!!! I didn't realize you were my neighbor! Thanks for not sportin the 70's bush!!!
bow chica wow wow
snow, why can't i do that feed thingy (yes i'm a techie you caught me) to your blog???
it's because you exceed the sarcasm maximum isn't it??
101 do it, do it. I'm old and may die soon then you'd feel guilty, oh the pain. Is it getting cold in here? mother is that you? oh shit it is, whats she doing here?
PPIEW - you can't access an RSS feed to my blog because I have that feature turned off. I have stalkers and do not wish to feed them.
That's what SHE said!!
Old coot - Bah, I say! Ye olde bastard.
oh. i get it, like the grassy knoll and if we actually landed on the moon?
i don't know how long my sainted mother and mother in law will be in the psych ward after reading your comment about my preg test. ok, no more "creative cursisms" in my comments, these are not the phone calls i was expecting today!
what? what? what? yes, that's what she said
Ho boy, so sorry about that. I'll be better next time, baby, I promise.
That's what SHE said!!
-AD
dying laughing at it!
that's what she said!
My neighbors are old and weird, so I'm just going to go ahead and brick up the windows this weekend.
Pistols - that depends on if you're hot or not. Even crazies deserve some peepin'!
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