Holy Sh*t It's Late

I'm up late, spending time with you, dear blog, because I love you. And because I'm going to the farm and cannot guarantee I will be able to blog tomorrow or even the next day. And as sure as I say that, I will be able to make time. Whatevah.

Anyway, my afternoon was interesting. Well, not really interesting, more like mildly amusing. Well, maybe just "one funny thing happened." I leave work around noonish to go to a lunch date and then go to get a pedicure. I walk into the salon and get the Evil Stare of Bored Pedicuree from each and every trophy in the parlor. What is it with everyone needing to look at that person? Anyway, she says, "It might be a bit of a wait," and I ask how much of one. Her eyes scan the throng of picky rich women and she thinks "45 minutes," but she says, "20 minutes." How do I know this? Because I have spent time working with customers at restaurants. If you tell them 45 minutes they're gone. If you give them 20 minutes it is scientifically proven they will wait because, "well, it'll take 20 minutes to get over to Macaroni Grill anyway."

So I decide against that and go home. After greeting everyone I bring in my beautiful flowers, give them water, and check my email messages on my phone. Crap, need to dial in. I walk over to my red bag. Hmm. That's strange? Where's my laptop?

I flash back to shutting down at work. "Let me pee then I'll pack up my computer. I'll just get everything else in the bag now..." Yes I talk to myself in my head. Anyway, I peed, returned, grabbed my bag, and bolted. Never looked back.

"Fug." I say.
"What?" R says.
"I left my computer at work."
"Bwhahahahahahaha!!!!"
I give him a dirty look. He apologizes. He knows better than to laugh at me. But he was right. It's fooking hilarious. I bid all good day and head back out.

Later I spent a boring 20 minutes at Starbucks. Because I could. Because it beats being at work. Because I thought they had wi-fi and I would be able to surf or whatever. Nuh uh. There's some thing you have to sign up for or whatever... I'm not doing that. So I sat and stared out the window and people watched.

After AB woke from her nap we went to Target. They have these great jeans that I can't get enough of. Well, they used to. Fuggers. They were on clearance. Bad. Didn't have my size. Worse. That means I can't buy a new pair every time I drop a size anymore. I meant to purchase a new "goal" pair of pants today. Instead I purchased a new pair of pants in a new (smaller) size. That was, well, obviously it was cool. I thought about buying one size down, but you know what, that's just like me. Minimize a success by asking for more. Feh. At least I know it, right?

Dinner was amazing. AB ate all her mac and cheese, and only needed a little help. She ate all her corn as well. I was very proud. My BBQ chicken potato was deeeelicious, with a whole crapload of Devil's Spit all over it (we went to Famous Dave's if you haven't figured that out yet). R enjoyed his chicken burger with jalapeno bacon on it. He practically worships that jalapeno bacon. I'll bet he dreams about it at night.

It was a good night. A good day. A good week. A great few months.

Funny AB anecdote:
Me: Avery, did you take a shower with Daddy today?
AB: Yes.
Me: Good, how did that go? (Casual, rhetorical question)
AB: (Miming) Spray, spray, spray. Wash, wash, wash.
Me: ROFLMAO WTF Hahahahahahahaha

Now go see how stoopid you are.