The Well-Heeled Overpronator

We're reading a Special Edition Night Before Christmas her Grandmother gave her. The illustrations are drawn by an old woman named Grandma Moses. I'm unimpressed with the pictures, but I do not mention them. We pause to look at a two-page mural of a winter field. Apropos to nothing AB says:

"I like the art in this book."

She's a damn genius.
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Due to overwhelming request, the RSS feed is on, ya lazy motherfuckers. I'm kidding. I love you all.


For Xmas I got a gift card to Big Peach Running company. My SIL goes there all the time, she knows their name and they have coffee and discuss running hundreds of miles or something like that. So we made a date to meet there and later have dinner.

Because that's the kind of dork I am - Friday night out with my sister-in-law is the highlight of my week.

Aaaanyway, I get there and this nice woman comes to help me. I tell her what I need (the works, analysis, put me on the treadmill and be quick about it lady I don't have all day) and she sighs resignedly and walks over to the foot measurer-er. I remove my shoes and roll up my jeans and waddle over to the electronic foot analysis. She says 10.5 and I nearly freak. I watch how one foot has a much larger "red splotch," meaning I carry most of my weight on my left foot. Good to know. Useless, but good to know.

Some of you may remember my completely dorky run around the Dick's track in my most-appropriately named post ever, The Biggest Dick. If you haven't be sure to remember to give it a read. Just in case you were unsure of just how much of a dork I truly am. I'm guessing this is just more of the same.

So it's time. The moment I have been dreading. Running on the treadmill with a camera aimed at my ass. Oh dear. Luckily there weren't many people in the store to watch my stubby-looking (on the monitor) legs. I refuse to believe my graceful long legs look stubby, and that's that. It's all about what you tell yourself, yes? Yes.

She says, "Get up to whatever speed you want and I'll film for 10 seconds once you're there." I do this. I'm trying not to watch my feet on the monitor b/c when I do I stumble and then the data is bad, so that's not helpful. I just jog until she says we're done. I step off, trying to not bust my ass. I didn't even pee.

We watch. I overpronate. It's obvious. This could be the cause of my knee pain above four miles. Or perhaps I should just stay under four miles - duh! Doesn't take a genius with high-tech machinery to figure THAT out, does it? No.

She sees my hesitancy to wear a 10.5. Sometimes being tall is a curse. I just can't stomach that large a shoe. So she gets me tens, and they fit fine. Fancy machinery be damned. I try on Asics, Adidas, Mizuno, Nike and finally Saucony. Aaaah. Saucony. Like coming home. Sold.

How much are they? I'm amazed that they seemed to know exactly for how much was my gift card! These people are geniuses! Sold! I pay tax and that's it.

We toodle over to Lenox mall and M takes back a bunch of stuff and we go to the Nike store to exchange a top she bought me. I would like to complain about how overpriced Nike's stuff is and how it's all fake materials so how the freak can it cost so much but I found a wonderful olive green warmup suit for $40 off and it fit perfectly and was soooo warm and comfortable running today that I just can't. Love Nike store. Even if it is overpriced and the sizes run very, very small. Very small. I bought a size I told myself I never would again. Fuck. But it was for a good deal, er, cause. I got an entire outfit for $25 after the exchange. Such a deal!

I need to wrap up this diatribe. Run this morning was great. No I didn't wear my new beautiful shoes are you kidding me? It was WET out there! I don't know if it was the ton of carbs I ate last night or the cup and a half of coffee before going out, but I had lots of energy and felt great.

My Mom came to sit AB and spend the night while R and I went out. We saw I am Legend. It was OK, but it went to shit in the end. No Country for Old Men was much better, go see that.

The date went well (errands, dinner, movie) until we came out of the movie and he pissed me off so we came home. Come home to find out AB completely pwned my mother, as in wouldn't sit in her time out chair. My mother could not control AB because she is not allowed to scream at or manhandle her, and a firm voice apparently was not enough. AB does not seem to respect her authoritah. No idea what to do about that other than not have her watch AB again. Also need to have a serious talk with AB.

She takes after me. She's a little bitch. Who, AB or my mother? Both.

Muah!