Happy Birthday, 'Merica

The "parade" this morning was one of the saddest things I've ever seen. Patheti-sad probably describes it. Course, who am I to judge? Did I organize a neighborhood "parade" whereby my old and decrepit neighbors could get into their trophy vehicles and ride a few circuits around the hotel-like condo that is my home? No, I did not. but someone did, and I hope they had fun.

R's Aunt invited us to swim in her (freezing) pool so we did. She invited us to enjoy her delicious spread of chips and dips so we did. She invited me to enjoy a Corona Light with fresh lime and salt so I did. She invited us back again before the year is out and so we will. Family is good, remember?

I changed out of my suit bottoms and got to ride commando in some very loose house shorts. I wish I had planned that a little better, but 'gina enjoyed the breeze. I didn't ask if my ass liked it, but I imagine she enjoyed the fabric caressing her surface as I walked. I'm pretty sure she did. I did. Moving on.

We had lunch at the Crab Shack. It's an institution. I had dungeoness crab. If you ever need a lesson how to eat crab, you need to call me. I am a pro. I can shuck a crab and have the knuckles devoured in five minutes flat. People who leave the knuckles because "it's too hard to get the meat out" make me tear up. I weep. It's so sad. That's the good stuff! Get in there! Use your sensitive fingertips to avoid the cartilage and pull that meat! Put it into your butter cup until you have it all. Turn the cup over and press to drain. Voila! You have your own crab cake. And you thought I was only good at one thing. Pish.

We're about to head out to the beach to hang and watch the fireworks. There will be traffic. But I hope to be enjoying a Cold One of some sort and won't mind. I'll let you know how it goes.

Here's me enjoying my Corona. Asymmetrical facial expressions are fake, remember. I was actually miserable in this pic, wondering when I'd be able to put on a pair of underwear.

Or I didn't want to really smile because I had chipotle cheese dip in my teeth.

You decide. Which is it? Or was there another reason? Leave it in the comments.

Happy Birthday, 'Merica. I'm glad we got rid of the Brits. I hear there's at least one left we need to purge...