Crushed by a Dresser
So I'm working in the office. R is in the shower. AB is in her room playing. I hear a huge ruckus. It sounds like the roof caved in or the floor gave away. I'm already up and moving when I hear it - my child screaming in abject terror and pain. I'm moving faster now.
I enter her room and I see her trapped underneath her dresser. I sail in and effortlessly lift the 200-pound beast like Jean Valjean, prop it on my hip, and gather my terrified daughter into my arms after screaming, "R! Get out!"
She is fine. Not a bump, bruise, or scrape. That kid is a TANK!
I ask her if she is hurt. No. I palpate her arms, neck, and head. I ask her if anything hurts. She points to her left breast and actually says, "my breast." Impressive. Even scared as I was she was able to coax a laugh out of me. I talked to her for a long time while I held that thing in place. I told her why what she did was wrong and what could have happened. "Are you going to climb the dresser any more?" "No." "OK." I put her down and finagled the dresser back into place. R never heard a thing. I went to inform him - you should have seen his face.
Tonight at the park she fell twice. The first time she was getting onto a stool thingie with a big gap, and she fell on the recycled rubber tire bits. They're dirty - but they cushion precious watermelon heads so I like 'em. The second time she fell off a picnic bench, down the inside, and bumped her bottom. I said, "god damn it!" in front of our neighbor as I ran to get her, and felt badly about that. It was unintentional. I don't do well when my monkey hurts herself.
I forgot to tell you something she did at Starbucks while R was out of town. I tried to dissuade her from the chocolate cupcake but she was having none of it. She knew what she wanted and she was going after it. (Who'd she get that from?) So as she made a big mess all over her cute outfit I said, "Avery, I can't believe you're making such a huge freaking mess." Without skipping a beat my 2-year-old retorted with "too freaking bad." I nearly rolled out of my chair laughing.
So go mourn the death of Kickassery, extraneous or otherwise.
I enter her room and I see her trapped underneath her dresser. I sail in and effortlessly lift the 200-pound beast like Jean Valjean, prop it on my hip, and gather my terrified daughter into my arms after screaming, "R! Get out!"
She is fine. Not a bump, bruise, or scrape. That kid is a TANK!
I ask her if she is hurt. No. I palpate her arms, neck, and head. I ask her if anything hurts. She points to her left breast and actually says, "my breast." Impressive. Even scared as I was she was able to coax a laugh out of me. I talked to her for a long time while I held that thing in place. I told her why what she did was wrong and what could have happened. "Are you going to climb the dresser any more?" "No." "OK." I put her down and finagled the dresser back into place. R never heard a thing. I went to inform him - you should have seen his face.
Tonight at the park she fell twice. The first time she was getting onto a stool thingie with a big gap, and she fell on the recycled rubber tire bits. They're dirty - but they cushion precious watermelon heads so I like 'em. The second time she fell off a picnic bench, down the inside, and bumped her bottom. I said, "god damn it!" in front of our neighbor as I ran to get her, and felt badly about that. It was unintentional. I don't do well when my monkey hurts herself.
I forgot to tell you something she did at Starbucks while R was out of town. I tried to dissuade her from the chocolate cupcake but she was having none of it. She knew what she wanted and she was going after it. (Who'd she get that from?) So as she made a big mess all over her cute outfit I said, "Avery, I can't believe you're making such a huge freaking mess." Without skipping a beat my 2-year-old retorted with "too freaking bad." I nearly rolled out of my chair laughing.
So go mourn the death of Kickassery, extraneous or otherwise.
posted by Some Goofy Woman @ 10:15 PM
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