Thigh Wedgie

Well, I had to buy new shorts. I ran today with the ones I bought from the huge Dick's, and had a thigh wedgie the whole time. You know what that is, when your shorts creep up and nestle comfortably in your crotch? I tried everything. I cursed. I teared up. I pulled them halfway down my ass. No matter what I did, those bastards creeped.

So I said f-it and let them go for a ride in the Promise Land. It was mortifying, but I realized 1) I'd be stupid if I went home to change, and 2) I wasn't going to pass anyone who gave a flying flip anyway. No one notices other people. We're all too wrapped up in our own world to notice others. If someone did notice, maybe they snapped a camera photo and I provided amusing blog fodder for some budding writer who needed it.

I just wanted to say blog fodder.

So we went to the outlets tonight and I bought a pair of nearly knee-length shorts. They're likely to stay where they're supposed to. We'll see. If they don't it'll be worse because that's a lot more material I'll have to find a home for between my thighs. I know there is a pun there, but I'm leaving it alone.

Oh boy I'm tired.

So go read some Nurse Ratched. She is prolific and hilarious. And let me know how to solve the thigh wedgie problem, or where to buy vibrating shorts.